Your Right or Not

I need to tell you about something I heard on the radio.  I mostly listen to talk radio.  Mostly Boortz and Beck just because they are on when I am driving home from work.  On the way to work, at 3-4 am there isn't much except for the alien station, Coast to Coast.  

I think it was on Boortz that I heard a clip from the Howard Stern show.  They had a guy go on the streets of Harlem to interview obama supporters. Funny thing was that after he determined that they were for obama he would ask them questions like "So you are ok with Sarah Palin being Vise President?" or "Do you like obama because he is pro life or because he thinks we need to stay in Iraq and finish the job?".  You would not believe the responses.  They would say something like "Yah, they need to stay there and get the job done."  I know the cheerleaders are saying right now, "What is wrong with Sarah Palin being Vise President, you don't think a woman can do the job?".  These people had no idea what obama was about.  How incredibly scary.  To not even know who the Vise Presidential candidates are.  I bet these are the same people that leave a chad hanging.  You can see these interviews on youtube.  www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5p3OB6roAg

To be fair I will say that the same thing might happen, I haven't found it yet, with McCain supporters.

The thing I have to comment on is the "Right" to vote.  Ask someone where it states that we have the right to vote for President of the United States and they will most likely say the Constitution.  It is a myth that there is a Constitutional right to vote for President of the United States.  It is true.  It was left up to the states to decide how to choose their electors. (Senators weren't to be elected be the general population either.)  You know, the ones who really vote for President.  If they (the states) want to they can have a lottery or choose the oldest people in their state, or the ugliest people to be their electors.  It just so happens that every state has chosen to use a popular vote.  The result?  That is why we have the ultra uninformed voting for President.  That is why we have great masses voting for Presidents based on their good looks or color of their skin (can go for or against).  

Maybe before we go into the polling booth they should ask us who the Presidential tickets are.  If you can't even name the top two party's candidates then perhaps those people shouldn't vote.  How hard is it to learn a few names.  It's not like being asked to learn where they stand on their political philosophies.  But, if we did that, we might not even have 538 people that could answer correctly.  It would thwart the entire political process that we have come to know as the Presidential Election.

El Toro Negro

A Picture's Worth a Thousand?

I have to start out by apologizing for taking so long to post anything new.  It was Homecoming time here and we do a ton of stuff (hats, shirts, and sashes for the duchesses) for the occasion, not to mention all the other orders that had to be done.

My wife has been planning a trip for a while.  She has made our appointment and has been prepping us for a week, and today is the day she has been waiting for and we have been dreading.  Today, well, today is the day we go to the Sears portrait studio and do the deed.  Take family pictures.

I have to tell you that for years I have not enjoyed taking pictures.  I guess when I was a kid I didn't have a choice.  The funny thing is, now that I am grown and married, I still don't have a choice.  But at least now a days the bribes for cooperation are better.  

I never knew there was so much involved in getting a picture shoot together.  The "outfits" that we will wear (for each pose) have to be chosen.  The cloths have to be ironed and pressed and gone over with a fine tooth comb.  Someone might see the piece of lint on the lower left elbow area of the baby.  What shame.  I never would have known that you had to have an "outfit" to wear on the way tho the studio.  This is just in case one of the kids, or myself, get something on the real "outfit".  And what IS an "outfit".  Is there such a thing as an "infit" or an "out unhealthy"?  I don't get it.

The naps for the little ones, and me, have to be planned.   You know you can't feed the baby between the time you  dress him and the time the pictures are taken.  I don't care how hungry he is.  Haircuts were done a week ago.  Seven days is the exact perfect amount of time to look your best after a haircut.  I won't even start on the intricacies of where to place everyone.  And with nine people to place, it truly does become mind boggling.  What ever happened to tall people in the back and short people in the front?  

You know the strangest thing about this thing is that just last week I bought a new digital camera.  Go figure.  I don't like being in pictures but I do enjoy pictures of my family.  

El Toro Negro

Best Friends Forever (BFF)

I have a boy that is almost one.  I believe he was born in November.  The other day I was feeding him (I did it once and...) and noticed something very enlightening.  A pesky fly had gotten in the house.  While feeding the boy the fly landed on my knee.  Well, he happened to see it.  We were about done eating so it all stopped at that point.  He was mesmerized.  He would slowly reach for the fly and of coarse it would fly a short distance and land.  He followed this thing and tried to catch it a hundred times.  Well, in my mind I saw babysitter.  

What an idea.  If I had only thought of it five kids ago.  If you can get the fly to hang around your kid, he becomes their best friend.  They will play together forever.  It is a great toy for the kid.  Think about it.  I know that flys are dirty, but really, what are the chances that he will catch it?  YOU try and catch one.  With one hand.  Moving as slow as a toddler.  If your kid is moving around, crawling, they can play chase.

Now the trick is to keep the the fly close and interested.  I have experimented with several possibilities.  If it is a short term thing nothing is needed.  Just put him close to the fly and chances are that the fly will land on or close to him rather quickly.  At first I wondered why this was. I thought it was just general curiosity on the part of the fly.  "Hey, let me check this out" kind of deal.  But then I realized that flies aren't that social.  They need incentive.  That's when it hit me.

I would need something that the fly likes to keep him around for longer periods of time.  What do flies like?  First thing that came to mind was dead or rotting meat.  It might be different in your case, but my wife put a stop to using this one.  They will eat a variety of things, depending on species.  Here is what I have found to work.  Any thing that your child has recently eaten.  Instead of using a wipe (and I'm sure killing some tree somewhere) to clean him off, let him be.  He will like it better anyway.  If your kid or flies are into changing things around, try tree sap, nectar or blood (left over from your ground beef pack).  If you have a problem with putting this stuff directly on your little cutie you can apply it to something and keep it close to your kid.  I don't like this method because it defeats the whole babysitting idea.  If you have to constantly keep this thing close, you might as well watch your kid. Try a bracelet.  It goes where they do.  

Now, I know you are asking why the fly would play with my son before the additives.  The short term play.  Well, I decided that it was because kids always have additives.  That is to say unless they have just been given a bath.  But nine times out of ten they will have part of their latest meal on them, somewhere.  It may be invisible to the naked human eye, but the fly can see it.

One word of caution.  You will want to be careful when you do this outside, especially in the country.  If their are lots of flies around they could gang up on him.  Not that they want to do any harm, but too many might confuse your kid.  "Which one do I play with."

El Toro Negro

Here a Butt, There a Butt

I want you to do an experiment that I do every time I walk the streets of any city.  It doesn't seem to matter where.  It is even true in the rural towns.  When you walk from one place to the next, take a look at the ground.  Especially the street corners.  Or while you are picking up cans along the side of the road (what, to sell and give the $ to PETA) just look at the ground.  What you will find is an unbelievable amount of butt.  Cigarette butt.  What the heck is the deal.  

Why do smokers think that their butt is something that they can throw out the window or toss on the ground.  Aren't these people smart enough to know that it IS litter?  Wait, I used smart and smoker in the same sentence.  These butts are made of acetate fibers, not biodegradable.  The planet is said to have 1.2 billion smokers.  A pack a day and you get 24 billion butts.  If only one percent makes it to the ground that is a crap load of butt per day.  They all should go in a landfill.  Or better yet, smokers should be made to smoke the filterless cigarettes.  

Now let me make it clear that I am no greenie weenie.  I can't stand those people that say "We can't drill here because we might hurt a polar bear."  I say drill right through their dead carcass.  Even with that said, I am a planet lover.  I think there are some incredible places that God has blessed us with.  I also think he will hold us responsible for how we treat this gift.  I know he gave us this planet for our benefit, to use, to care for.  I don't believe in trashing the environment just because no one is looking.  I am an Eagle Scout and I do my best to leave no trace.  I clean up my mess, and it sickens me when I see some smoker toss his butt out the window.  They have no shame.  They don't even try to hide it.

Cigarette butts are just the most obvious form of litter that I notice.  There are plenty of other offenders.  Coke cans, beer boxes, Wal-Mart bags galore, bolwn out tires.  I can't say that I have never had something blow out of the back of my truck, but I do try my best to make sure that I don't.  And yes, I do pick up cans along the road (I can't stand PETA).  I have also participated in road cleanup, voluntarily.  

El Toro Negro

Third Thing's The Charm

So I work part time at UPS.  The center where I work is about 35 miles from where I live.  I start work between 4 and 5 in the morning.  With the price of gas what it is, I try and do the grocery shopping and other errands after I get off work.  Sounds reasonable, right?

The problem is that my wife thinks I am capable of remembering great quantities of useless lists.  She will tell me, the night before, about 27 things she needs at the store and 2 other places with accompanying tasks she needs me do.  What in the world is she thinking.  It is 9:45 and I am getting ready for my five hours of sleep and she unloads this mountain on me.  

It came to the point that I had to make a husband rule.  If it is over three things, places to go or things to buy, combined, I have to be given a list.  My mind can't be cluttered with useless things.  I only have so many brain cells.  Oh, the fact that China has more English speakers than the US is not "Useless" information.  You might need to know someday that a group of fox is called a shulk.  Dreamt is the only word in English that ends in mt.  What if someone walks up to you on the street and offers you some wad of cash if you know that tidbit of info.  

So now I call her ever day after working, blank note pad in hand.  I have had to ask her to try and consolidate the days she asks me to go places.  Not that I mind at all.  I LOVE shopping.  Right.  All for the love of a good woman.

El Toro Negro

A Toast To Grandma!

When I was a kid my mom would cook breakfast for us before we went to school.  I didn't learn until I was about 8 or 10 that there are several different types of breakfast toast, and not all are made equal.  

The first type I learned about is the type that is made in a toaster oven.  We always had one growing up.  The little box that sits on the counter and is like a mini oven.  She would butter the bread and put it in and push the button that says toast.  The element comes on and melts the butter and you have toast.  The edges get crispy and the top soggy.  I don't know how many I ate before I learned of the second kind.

While spending the night with a friend I learned of the second type of toast.  This is where you toast the bread first and then butter it.  I remember wondering why we couldn't butter the bread first.  So what if the butter runs down and pools in the bottom of the toaster.  This is the kind of toaster that "pops" up when the bread is done.  This type also makes tons of crumbs.  Loads of crumbs.  If you cook with bread crumbs this is the way for you to make your toast.

I don't know why it took so long for me to learn of the third way to make toast.  Perhaps I knew of it from the time I was born but didn't realize it until I was 8 or 10.  My grandmother made the best toast that I can ever recall eating.  She would butter the bread, put it on a cookie sheet, and put it in the oven.  The secret to this is that she would put the oven on broil.  This would turn on the top element, making a crust like top that is out of this world.  This can also be accomplished in a toaster oven, I learned, if it has a broil function.  

To this day I sometimes get a hankering for toast and use this method to satisfy my craving.  I will be honest and admit that I do have the pop up kind of toaster.  Sometimes I fell guilty using this method.  Like it offends my grandmother.  But, the over method is a bit more lengthy, and with six kids chomping at the bit a breakfast time...  Lets just say that for safety's sake I try and calm the crowd quickly. 

I confess that when I do eat  grandma's toast I go overboard.  I can eat a whole loaf when I get going.  Normally I use honey to top my toast.  But I have an adventurous side (just ask my wife), and have toped my toast with sugar or cinnamon, or on crazy days, both.  

One word of caution.  The difference between great toast and black top is very little.  You MUST watch the toast carefully, making sure to take it out when it reaches that golden brown.  A few seconds more and you may find yourself scraping the black stuff.

Lastly, I purposefully did not include french (little f on purpose) toast for a couple of reasons.  First it is french.  I have a problem with them at this time is history.  If they would just call it something different I might could overlook the fact that the french came up with it.  Second I don't really consider it toast.  It flys in the face of all that I know to be toast.  I'm not even sure if it has butter on it.

Give it a try.  Let me know how you like this toast.  

El Toro Negro

Are we really THAT different?

I can't take credit for all of this post.  I have a buddy that I talk to all the time, everyday.  I bounce a lot of stuff off him and he has some interesting feedback.  I'm trying to get him to be a guest author, but I'm not sure if or when he will show up.

So let me begin by asking if we have any cheerleaders or moms of cheerleaders reading this?  If you are, please raise your hand.  Good.  If you have your hand up you might want to back away from this blog.  Just stop right here.  This can only piss you off.  I don't want any OMG's or WTF's (or a series of "like" this or "like" that-got to be the most over used and abused word) hurled at me.  So just stop now.  And you can put your hand down now.

Do you remember reading about or seeing a history channel show about the cultures that would sacrifice their Virgins to the gods?  When we went to Chichen Itza (the big pyramid on the Yucatan peninsula) , it reminded me of the people that would take the most beautiful girls to the top and sacrifice them to their god.  If I remember right, the families of these girls thought it an honor and privilege to be chosen to give their daughter for this purpose.  From the time these girls were very young they would be prepared, in hopes of being chosen.  

We as a people of "modern" society look back at these primitives and say to ourselves, "How could a culture do such a thing?".  I wonder what the people of a thousand years from now will say when the look at us and our rituals.  I highlight one that has been brought to my attention by my buddy.  

There are fragments of our society, that starting at a very young age, take their daughters and begin teaching and training them.  They spend a great deal of money, give them special cloths to wear, and teach them how to think.  They teach them that they are a chosen group, and often, that they are better than the rest of their peers because they are pretty and popular.   They teach them chants that they can use to entertain and impress.  And after they learn these things, they are taken in front of a great crowd of the general population (usually made up of mostly fanatical men), dressed in very little, and paraded in front of the old and young men of the area.  These men yell and holler, encouraging them to dance and yell.  I am speaking of the cheerleader.  

Will the people of future millenniums, looking back, ask themselves "How could they do that to their little girls?"?  Will they marvel that we counted ourselves lucky if our daughters were a part of this chosen group?  Will the stereotypes of today, that cheerleaders are saddled with, be counted as fact?

It seems to be the be all and end all of their lives, to be a cheerleader. I went to a Jr. High last night and noticed several things.  They seem to be perfectly on a cheer schedule.  They must have a timer, and when that timer goes off they have to do a cheer.  It doesn't matter if there is a timeout going on or not.  It doesn't matter if we are winning or loosing.  It doesn't matter if we are or offense or defense.  Yesterday, we were being beaten 20 something to zip and or cheerleaders do the cheer of were #1.  The best is when we have about 30 seconds left and are down by 20+ and they break out the "We can still win!" cheer.  One of my personal favorites is the "Hey Gang, Say Gang" cheer.  I can't stand it.  You know the one I'm talking about.  Hey gang, say gang, listen here. This is Brittany. Lets give her a cheer.  She's a whatever grader.  They all hold hands, swinging their arms.  I have yet to see anyone in the crowd pay attention.  It is a classic third quarter cheer.

I also noticed yesterday that after every cheer, without exception, they would congregate in front of the stands to gulp bottled water.  I admit, it was about 90 degrees.  And they had jumped once or twice, and, oh, clapped their hands.  The knee braces are even better.  Not one of them can do the splits or a back flip, but they somehow have managed to injure themselves.  

El Toro Negro