You Might Be A Terrorist If...

OK. So I know that this will land me on every government watch list, but given the current status of our Republic, I will take that to be a badge of honor.

So you have heard of the memo that came out of the DHS.  That's the Department of Homeland Security.  It is headed by one of obama's goons, Janet Neapolitan, Napolitanna, Napolitano, or something like that.  (She's a looker.)  It basically outlines the type of person that is likely to pose a threat as a terrorist.  

After a long and grueling ordeal of digging, hunting (oops, poor choice of words), and snooping, I found the first draft that Janet issued to her crew at the DHS.  She was going for the "lets have a fun workplace" type memo.  She titled it "You Might Be A Terrorist If".  I have reproduced it here.  Don't be surprised if you find yourself on a Gov't watch list.

You Might Be A Terrorist If...

• You have ever, even once, attended a Christian Church
• You think "I am Joe the Plumber"
• You think families should consist of a Father, Mother, and kids.  Not two mommies, or two daddies.
• You own a gun, have ever shot a gun, have ever thought about buying a gun, or have ever seen a gun, even on TV.
• You are or were in the military, know someone in the military, have thought about joining the military, respect people in uniform, or think we should have a military.
• You think people should come to the USA legally.  
• You think the President of the US shouldn't go on a worldwide apology tour.
• You think the President shouldn't kiss the ass of ANY world leader.
• You think the UN should be dissolved.
• You think the US government is too damn big.
• You think California should have to sleep in the bed of social programs and high taxes it made for itself.
• You think self-reliance and individualism are part of being an American.
• You think you should seek help in this order: self, immediate family, extended family, friends, community/church, local gov't, State gov't, and then the federal gov't.  
• You believe in personal property.
• You only speak one language.
• You hum along with, or God forbid, you sing along with the national anthem.
• You know the words to the national anthem.
• You salute, remove your hat or cover your heart when the flag passes.
• You own a US flag or your state flag.
• You own your own business.
• You have ever donated money (your money) to your church or a charity.
• You believe in the tenth amendment.
• You believe in the Bill of Rights.
• You know what the Bill of Rights is.
• You have ever heard of, read, or own a copy of the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution of the United States.
• You think the founders got it right.
• You think the money you earn is yours.
• You believe in a free market.
• You believe that businesses can fail.
• You know that evil really does exist.
• You think people should be held accountably for their actions.
• You think our elected officials should be held accountable for their actions.
• You think taxes are too high.
• You have ever been to a "Tea Party".
• You have ever written you Congressman or Senators.
• You think it is ok to have to prove that you are a citizen to be able to vote.
• You have ever listened to a talk radio show, or watched Fox News.
• You think there is bias in the media.
• You think mandatory volunteerism is an oxymoron.
• You have ever gone to a war memorial to pay your respects, and not to desecrate or degrade it.
• You think we should teach constitutional law.
• You are not offended when a prayer if offered.
• You have ever prayed.
• You have ever read the Bible.
• You think that separation if church and state is to protect the church from the state, and not the other way around.
• You don't support abortion.
• You think you are responsible for your own healthcare.
• You think that a balanced budget is more than just an idea.
• You think that the gov't is not responsible for your mortgage, gas for your car, your cell phone bill, your retirement.
• You think that job security comes from doing a good job and making yourself irreplaceable, and not from the gov't.
• You think the employer and the employee should be able to work out a mutually agreed upon wage/salary.
• Your think contracts should be honored.
• You think the Federal Gov't should get out of the education business.
• Yu think school choice is a good idea.
• You think the social security system is a big fat joke.
• You are tired of seeing fat people with a cell phone, manicure, flat screen HDTV with every cable station known to man pull out their state welfare debit card to pay for Oreos, powdered doughnuts, lucky charms, and lucky strikes at the local grocery store.  
• You believe that if monster truck fans should be forced to support the "opera" then opera fans should be forced to support the monster truck industry. 
• You believe the fairness doctrine is misnamed and ridiculous.
• You have ever eaten apple pie.
• You have any article of clothing that is camouflage.  
• You have food or money saved in case of an emergency.

El Toro Negro