Help Me!

Are you familiar with the ads for medicines? You have seen them. They are on TV, radio, and in every magazine known to man. The ones in the magazines are usually three pages long. There are meds to fix all that ails you. All you have to do is consult your physician, right? Just figure out what is hurting you and find the right pill. Heck, looking at those ads there are things that I didn't even know I needed help with. I'm a physical wreck

What I love most are the warnings that go along with ads. The warnings are 3/4 of the ad written in about half the font size. I never knew you could have so many side effects from something that is supposed to help you sleep better. Dang. All I want to do is get a little rest, but I might experience diarrhea, bloating, dizziness, fainting spells, low blood pressure, low blood sugar, high blood pressure, cardiopulmonary resuscitation, abdominal pain, gas, halitosis, gastroenteritis, hiccups, music-induced seizures, painful urination, discolored urination, minor to severe bleeding of the nasolacrimal duct, trouble sleeping, hypertension, irritable bowl syndrome, somnolence, weight gain, microscopic colitis, dry mouth, anxiety, memory loss, decreased verbal fluency, skin rashes, tremors, mood swings, Tourette's syndrome, mild to severe retardation, vivid nightmares, increased sweating, hot flashes, cold hands (but not cold feet- if feet become cold call 911 immediately), hypomania, itching, constipation, risk of suicide, swelling of the tongue and throat which may be fatal, a risk of dependence, and my favorite, an erection lasting longer than four hours. Drinking alcohol at any time while taking this drug may increase the risks.

All I want to do is feel refreshed from a good night's sleep. So what do I do? What do we all do? Ignore the warnings and take the pills. It's worth it, right? So what if I can't breath, get the scours, bleed out of my eyes.... At least I can sleep!

El Toro Negro