Mum's the Word (And I Know Why)

You husbands out there.  Ever been accused by your wife of being too quiet?  You know.  You never talk to me.  You never even answer me.  Do you even hear me when I talk to you?  There are a thousand variations of this but they all involve the man not listening or at least not answering the woman.  In my experience it is the latter of the two.  

I am going to tell you of only one of the time that I have had this experience.  There have been millions.

We are riding to church.  My wife asks me a question.  I think it was about the pressure tank I was working on or how or why I did something.  Regardless, the answer needed at least two sentences to complete.  As soon as the first sentence is off the end of my lips, actually it wasn't past my teeth, she starts talking, asking more questions and commenting on what she thought was my complete response.  

If she would only allow me to complete my thought, there would rarely be the need for so many followup questions.  She would fully understand and be enlightened to the things of "mandom".  We would communicate better and we all know that that is the key to a healthy relationship.  But instead, she takes off with her own thoughts in response to what she thought was "the" answer.   She asked a question, seemed to be interested in what was the answer, yet didn't let me finish half a thought.  As it is, it only serves to frustrates me.

 

What is the response to this?  What behavior will a man develop?  Well, the man begins to lessen his involvement in the situation.  Why bother?  Who wants to be run over while trying to answer the original question.  Instead, he will sit there, listen, and then remain silent as if he didn't hear you.  If this happened once in a while it would be one thing, but it happens so much that the end result is something of a defensive response that she doesn't like.  The only thing I have going for me is that I claim to be getting older to the point of not being able to hear well.

So the next time you wonder why a man just sits there, when he can, and doesn't say anything, now you know why.

El Toro Negro