Bath Balls

All of the human race has at least one thing in common. Nature demands it, and thank goodness we were able to through out the corn cobs due to the invention of toilet paper. TP. We all use it. Now don't get scared. This won't get gross or nasty.

Over the past several years it has been interesting to see the way certain things have been renamed, for whatever reason. You can't buy soap any more. Its body wash. TP, I thought, had been changed to toilet tissue. I must have missed the latest transition.

My wife came home from the super, mega, shop-a-torium today with toilet paper only it wasn't toilet paper. It is now bath tissue. Still the same soft, two ply, stuff you use to..... well, you know. Just now it has a new name.

I have to admit I was a bit confused at first. I mean, everyone knows what to do with toilet paper, or toilet tissue. That night during my bath, I had the hardest time keeping the bath tissue from falling apart. The soap kept falling through the tissue. Trying to wash my face with it was a nightmare. My fingers kept poking through. Let me tell you, two ply isn't enough. I had to make a big mat of the stuff to get the job done.

And then there is the clean up. There must have been a million little balls of bath tissue floating around in the water. You couldn't stand up without being covered in these little slimy balls of bath tissue. I had to get the window squeegee to get it all off. And let me tell you. Those balls will not go through the drainer.

I don't get it. Its bath tissue. Used for your bath. Toilet paper/tissue works great for its stated purpose, why can't bath tissue. I wanted to return it for a refund, but my wife said they would not accept a walmart bag full of wet bath tissue. I feel like I have been cheated.

Clean that Elbow!

I am not that old, but things seem to have changed since I was a kid.

I was taught to cover my mouth when I coughed or sneezed. Sounds fine, right. Well, for the last million years I think it was. But now, we know better. Now we have to cough into our elbow. I know you have seen all these little kids who cough into their elbows. I see it at the school all the time. To me, it looks really stupid.

I guess I can understand the stated reason. You know, to keep gems off your hands and thus keep them from spreading. Me, I think this germ phobia is a bit blown out of hand. You see Purell everywhere. Every soccer mom is loaded with the stuff. Whipping it out at the slightest hint of a little dirt. Heck, even at the Wal Mart you have these wipes that are soaked with Purell to clean the cart handle.

Just the other day on the Wall Street Journal radio show they had a report that stated that due to the excessive use of antibacterial soaps and cleansers, a bacteria in the human stomach that processes fats has been eliminated. At least we have something to blame our over obesity on.

Just the other day I ran into a Hobby Snobby store to get something for the wife. (I hate that store.) There was a woman in there with a kid about four years old. She was the typical thirty something with one point four kids, a suburban house, a Starbucks in her hand, a toe ring, a gym membership, a shirt two sizes too small for her, the whole nine yards.

Well, her kid sneezes, correctly I might add, into his elbow. Obviously he had been taught well. What got me was what the mom did. She dove into her LV purse and located the cure all. This is not what surprised me. She proceeded to squirt a dob into the elbow of this kid and clean his elbow pit. OMG. You have got to be kidding me. Afterwards, she strutted around like she had just saved the world. And we wonder why we can't build a resistance to germs.

What is this world coming to?

El Toro Negro

Toe Pop

If you have kids then more than likely they love candy. Ju Ju beads, milk duds, Necco wafers, gum. You name it, I am sure they have had it. OK. Maybe not the necco wafers, but tons of others. The one on my mind tonight is the ring pop.

Designed to go on the hand and provide a treat of sugary goodness, the ring pop is one of the favorites of my kids. Colors and flavors vary, but my kids have tried and enjoyed almost all of them. The one thing I didn't expect, was the eating method.

I only wish I had caught it in a video or picture. My kids, unknowingly, invented the toe pop. Why would a kid out a ring pop on their toe to eat it. I guess we have women of all ages wearing rings on their toes, why not a ring pop on a toe. I can't remember which toe it was. Doesn't matter.

Enjoy.

El Toro Negro

I have another pic that you have to use your imagination, or rather a picture that you have to figure out what the heck it is. Clues.... Well, it is something that my kids love to do. It takes about 4 or 5 minutes to complete and cost anywhere from $5 to $8. John was scared of this at first but is now a fan as well.

We did this in Madisonville in front of the WalMart.

El Toro Negro

Rock Hard Bodies Unite!

I'm sure you have all heard of YouTube, the site where you can upload videos of just about anything. I have an account myself. I mostly post videos of my kids, but have some that are political, and even have a music video I made where I am singing in Spanish. If you have ever wanted to see something, you have a good chance of seeing it on YouTube.

When you go to the main page you will see several headings in bold. On of them says "recommended for you". I guess they have a way of determining what you would like seeing. It may have something to do with what you have viewed before or what you yourself have uploaded. That brings up the whole big brother thing, but we wont address that here and now.

One of the videos that was "recommended" for me was a fitness video uploaded by someone with the user name of charliejames1975. Now I'm no fitness freak. I don't exercise, at least not in the "go to the gym" way, so I'm not sure why they thought I would like this video. I do my exercising each week by moving 25,000 boxes and push mowing 10 to 12 yards, not to mention the other things that I do around the house.

The girl that is featured in these fitness videos has got to be the poster girl for smokin' hot babes all over the planet. I think her name is Zuzana, and the videos advertise another site. Anyway, these videos consist of her doing various exercises, and last about 8 to 10 minutes. Here is a photo of her. You can also see the site she promotes.

She does all kinds of exercises. She uses chairs and broom sticks as well as does pushups (one armed ones too) sit-ups and jump rope. Really quite impressive as far as fitness goes.

Now you have to be asking yourself what's the point. Well, as you know, for me, there doesn't have to be a point. But this time....... there is a point.

I got to thinking about political correctness, and global goodness, and the environment, and pollution, and recycling, and every other bleeding heart liberal catch phrase that exists. You know exactly what I am talking about. You know how sorry we, as Americans, are supposed to feel because we don't separate or trash into 37 types of recyclable material. Or how we should lash ourselves every day because we don't volunteer to help out the destitute and poverty stricken in Zambia. I feel guilty every time I start up my Suburban. But, I'm in the process right now of adding all my old cordless drill batteries to the drive system of my Suburban, in order to offset my carbon butt print (or is it.... doesn't matter). I'm heading to the Gulf Coast right after I finish writing this to clean shrimp. Enough of that.

I just wondered. How could this girl, and all people that desire to be fit, better serve the almighty Planet. The answer is quite obvious, isn't it? Aren't there places and people that need help. Just the other day at the grocery store I was talking with this huge lady with a Lone Star card. She was explaining how she just couldn't get her grass mowed. She had three sons ages 19, 17, and 16. She tried to talk me into bringing my mower over and cutting her yard. She just didn't want to have to pay.

Why couldn't Zuzana, or her local counterpart, go to this lady's house and cut her grass. They would , of course, have to use a hand scythe. You wouldn't want to use the evil combustion engine. Just imagine the workout and the goodness that would be spread by helping this lady out.

What about the people in Haiti? Isn't there, like, a million tons of ruble there that needs to be moved to the recycling plant? These fitness people could loose themselves in body hardening selfless service by moving all the concrete, by hand.

Just the other day I needed a trench dug. Where were the fitness freaks? In their gyms. In there homes with their bowflexes. Being greedy with their desire to be healthy. Why wont they dig my ditch? They are expending all that energy and all they have to show for it is a well toned body. Why not help someone out AND stay in shape?

I can think of only a couple of drawbacks. First, there has to be someone to video them. This shouldn't be a big issue. We can add another Federal agency that not only coordinates the fitness friends, sending them to those that help, but also has an army of videographers to record and upload the footage of all the volunteerism.

Second, I am not sure that these helpers could always wear spandex. I know it is a requirement of those sexy workout types. I don't think I have ever seen them in anything else. I can imagine how shredded it would get while moving shards of broken building. But, this agency could provide an endless supply of replacement leotards. Problem solved.

What a wonderful world this could be if we all, well, those that want to be fit, would just direct out energy toward helping those in need. We might even be able to get a mandate implemented that would require them to volunteer. Man the things that could get done.

El Toro Negro

Do I Know You?

Have you ever heard of those couples that have been married for a long time and one of the spouses finds out something about the other that they didn't know that you would have thought they would have discovered after all that time?

I have often thought that if you are a loving couple, spend time with one another, and are genuinely interested in each other that that would be impossible. I'm not talking about some deep dark secret. I'm not talking about discovering that your husband is a serial killer. Just the little things that you thought would have been out in the open.

My wife of 17 years, today, asked one of my sons to clean out the pantry. She must have not been thinking because I am sure she didn't want us to find out what she had been doing for who knows how long. My son did a thorough job, and came across something that shocked us all.

Lurking in the recesses of the pantry, my wife's domain, was a collection. Something that must have taken a good many years to bring to such a large number. I thought I would have noticed it somewhere along the way. We have lived in four places, moved three time, and I have no recollection of having ever seen this. It is not small and not light. There must be 30,000 of them. Does she have a compulsive disorder? Is she addicted to this thing? Does she need an intervention, a twelve step program?

I love her dearly, and will stand with her no matter what this challenge may bring. As a team, we can work through anything. So far, it had not had an adverse impact on or family, or marriage, but who know where this could have gone.

El Toro Negro

Nodding My Head Like...

Sorry, no pics to go with this one. I seem to get a lot of my thoughts from the ones I love. I was recently talking with one of the afore mentioned and the said that you couldn't shake your head yes. That you you always shake your head to say no to someone. That got me thinking. Is that really true? Do we only shake our head no and nod our head yes?

So I tried it. You know. Pretended that someone asked me a question, and then answered by making a movement with my head. You might give it a try. I have to admit that it does feel a bit more natural to shake your head no than it does to nod your head no, but the difference is very negligible.

So I say to all. It is really a matter of semantics. If you move your hear from side to side in a horizontal pane, is that a shake or a nod? It seems to be something that has to be figured out on a personal level. For me.... no me importa.

El Toro Negro