High Riders

I know that you have all been in a restroom where it is handicap accessible.  I think that there has been some mandate that has required all bathrooms in the world to be able to handle a wheelchair.  I need to know something, well, a lot of things, but the thing I want to know about these bathrooms is why is the toilet seat is SO high.  Wouldn't it be around the same height of the seat of the wheelchair?  Just slide from one to the other, right?

But what I have noticed is that these seats are made for Andre' the Giant.  Who in the world wants to GO BIG with there feet hanging, not reaching the floor?  That is unless you are three.  How are you going to be able to push properly if there is nothing to push against. It makes more sense having these in the homes of old people.  I've seen them for sell on TV.  I think that they have a hard time getting up from a sitting position and these booster seats keep them in an almost standing position while they...  I even saw one that was motorized.  Like the recliner that the old folks have.  It raises them to where they can just walk away from their chair.

I'd better stop and apologize before my wife starts hollering about my subject matter.  I write about the things I am doing or going through, or things that I notice or are brought to my attention.  And these high riders are everywhere, plus we are potty training.  For the sake of my wife's sanity and the excitement of my night life I will not write about peeing off the back porch.  At least not right now.  

El Toro Negro

Who's Your Daddy?

I need to dispel a myth that has been perpetrated ever since I can remember.  Actually it is several myths.  It involves potty training and girls.  Remember that I have two girls and that one is already potty trained.

The first myth is that girls are easier to train that boys.  I will say that my oldest girl was easy to potty train, as well as several of our boys.  They were all easy, really.  We did have one boy that had to take off ALL his cloths in order to go.  But all in all they were easy.  

Then there is my youngest girl.  I don't know what the heck is going on with her.  We have read all the books.  All the signs of readiness were there.  We started her and she did very well, for a few days.  Then total collapse.  So we waited and read some more books.  Followed the advice of the best of the best and combined it with or experience.  We started again.  She did great for a day or so.  Then nothing.  A pattern evolved, for a while, where she would do ok and then not.  Now, she just doesn't do well at all.  It is a battle at times, then other times, we sit her down and she goes right away.

We tried the "get candy" routine.  We tried the sticker chart.  After each potty she gets a sticker.  After so many stickers she would get a BIG toy.  Well, it wasn't long before she figured out where the stickers were.  She waited until we were not in the room and climbed, got them, and before long there were stickers appearing on the chart that she didn't earn.  And that's where we are right now.

The other myth, and the one that was dispelled tonight, is that girls aren't messy when they pee.  Do not get caught standing in front of your little girl when you are trying to potty train her.  Listen.  I have been married for 15 years.  I thought that I had gained a little bit of an understanding of where certain things are on a female.  On a little boy you had better make sure it is pointed down when you sit him down.  My wife had assured me that with a girl it was different.  Sure, theirs is naturally "pointed" down.  Well guys, don't believe that lie.  I got the shins of my legs sprayed tonight.  The seat was drenched.  It points down, it points down!  I  just stood there in disbelief.  What had just happened.  Oh , to be a father.

El Toro Negro

Here is the answer to the last picture.  It was a blow up of where the leg meets the body.

The Unselfish Act

So I'm sorry already.  The last week has been very rough.  My wife was on her deathbed, or at least she said so.  She ended up having strep throat.  She went to the doctor twice before getting the right medicine to clear it up.  As well, two of my kids were sick the last week and I have been sick this week end.  I think the worst has past.  

Yesterday, my wife took some of the kids to our small town PTO carnival.  They have a game where the kids can win a goldfish.  This is not my favorite game and I think they should outlaw it from the carnival.  Our kids have a long history of winning these fish and having them live forever.  This year, however, it was different.

I woke up this morning to fix breakfast, as I always do on Sunday, while my wife stayed in bed.  I am not sure how I acquired this chore, every time, especially since I get up at 3 or 4 am during the week, but I'm sure it has something to do with me doing it once.  Now it is expected, or else.  So I am walking into the kitchen, flip on the light, and there is the fish, on the floor, dried out and stiff.  It had been put in a clear glass bowl and placed on the counter.  I can't say that I was totally disappointed.  I put it back in the bowl thinking that we would have a ceremony when my daughter woke up and be done with it.  To my dismay, I looked at it a few minutes later, and the dang thing was breathing again.  Not long after that it was swimming.

I said that we have had a long history with these carnival fish and that they have normally lived for a long, long time.  We (my wife) have put them in the cabinet and forgotten about them for a few weeks, without food or light, only to find them alive and well.  We have put them on the back porch in the winter over night to find them frozen solid in the morning.  Great, right?  Well the goofy thing was ok after thawing out.  What is the deal with these things?  

I guess that statistically speaking there would be one that would die easily out of the ones we have gotten over the years.  This was that year.  After coming home from church we found the fish floating, dead.  Really dead.  Now he resides in the back pasture, ready to complete the circle of life by being eaten by some raccoon or other critter.  What an unselfish sacrifice.   The ultimate act of giving.  Thank you little fish.

El Toro Negro

Now for another quiz.  What is it?  (It's not grandpaw Frank's ear.)

Not in My Sync

We have been married for about 15 years.  One of the things that I love about my wife is her hair.  It is long and thick and not yet gray.  One of the things I don't like is that she sheds... like crazy.  

In our last house we had one bathroom.  Only one.  For eight of us.  I knew that their was a hair problem because fairly often I would have to clean the drain.  Not a fun thing to do.  It is really slimy with all the soap.  My question is how in the world does it get in the sink?  Shouldn't it come out in the tub or shower?  I don't recall seeing her stand over the sink and shake her head.  But with three girls,well, I should have expected it, right?  

I thought in our new house I wouldn't have to deal with this issue quite so often.  In our bathroom we have a his and her sink.  She has this sitting area where she can do her makeup and hair.  What I never expected was to find these really long hairs in MY sink.  I really am beginning to think that she is sneaking in when I am not around and placing her hair in my sink for me to find.   

We have been in this house about six months and I have already had to clean out her sink.  I don't know what to do to fix this problem.  My wife claims that there is no fix.  It just happens.  Well, love knows no bounds.

El Toro Negro

I am adding this just to see if y'all can guess what this is.  It is driving my wife crazy.

Say What?

I went through some of the photos that we took of the A&M game we went to a few weeks ago.  I found something very interesting.  

At first glance there isn't anything wrong.  But check out the ref.  What the heck is he doing?  Is he in pain?

Maybe he has a bet with his ref buddies that he can make a lewd gesture during the game and get away with it.  It is possible that he has a lewd gesture during a collegiate sporting event fetish and couldn't help himself.  It's a disease.  I tend to think he is heckling the line judge on the side.

I just happened to catch this.  Think how many times this goes on and no one knows about it.  A epidemic.  WOW.

El Toro Negro

Our Pet

You already know that we have an embroidery business.  With that comes some shirts that we, usually me, mess up.  With me it is usually the wrong color.  Normally, we will keep these to use when we need to sample a new design.  We will sew it on the tail of the messed up shirt.  These shirts are kept in a big tub under our sewing table and from time one of our kids will ask for a shirt for some "project" that they have going on.  

My wife's father has, or had, quite a few mounted animals.  He gave my second son a stuffed squirrel that is most likely twenty plus years old.  He loves that squirrel.  Not my father in law, my son. 

Not long after he acquired the animal he came to my wife and asked if he could have a shirt out of the tub, and also asked if he could cut it up.  It was a shirt that had an A&M logo on it.  We really didn't need it so she told him ok.  It wasn't long after that that he came and asked for a needle and thread.  We weren't sure what he wanted and with Jake there was no telling.  She gave him the tools.

What we soon found out was that he was making a shirt for his little friend.  This son is one of the ones that can sit and work on a project building something for hours and never look up.  He loves to build and take apart.  He is a funny dude.  I never thought we would have a pet like this one.

El Toro Negro

Round n Round

I wanted to try this out, putting a video on my blog.  Plus, I think my boy is cute.  He makes me laugh.

El Toro Negro

Barack and His All A's Program

My oldest son will soon be 14.  For about the last year he has been on us about buying him a cell phone.  I know that some of you will think that that qualifies as abuse, but it has been our rule so far.  Hey, I know of a seven year old that has her own personal cell phone.  

So we made a deal.  Our kids have always been required to make at least an 80, in each class they take, to avoid punishment.  That's where the bar is set from the time they enter school.  The deal was brokered.  If he made all A's for the school year we would buy a cell phone for him.  If even one B was on his report card the deal was off.  He, to my great surprise and pleasure, has taken this deal and ran with it.  He has worked very hard and has earned great marks in all his classes.  It has already taught him other things.  How to study and be prepared, and how to keep up with where he is grade wise, so he doesn't get in a position where he doesn't have enough time to bring a grade up before the grades come out.  He is talking with his teachers about his performance and how he can improve.  All things that will help him in the future.  Now he is even wanting to be the valedictorian of the 8th grade.  Of coarse I didn't even know there was such a thing.  Then there is the idea that someone needs to "graduate" from kindergarten.  What the heck have they accomplished.  The skill of finger painting.    

The thing that causes me to write is a lame idea the school is tossing around.  It seems that there are kids, more likely parents, that feel bad when their friends or classmates earn higher scores than them.  Apparently it hurts their feelings.  SO the school is proposing to take the all A student's grades, the kids that have any A's, and give them all C's.   They then want to give the kids that have D's and failing grades all C's.  Sort of average them all out.  No one needs to feel bad.  Everyone is the same.  I am so mad I can spit nails.  What the heck are the administrator thinking.  Those kids, A's and F's alike, EARNED those grades.  Why should the ones who have worked hardest have to take less while those that have worked the least or not at all be given more.  Grab the torches and pitchfork, right?  Remind you of those games (usually soccer) where they don't keep score?

Well, they aren't really wanting to do that, at least not yet.  What I want to illustrate is a point that Hank Williams Jr. made about barack obama and his comments to Joe the Plumber.  It makes about as much sense to take the wealth of someone that has worked hard and earned it, and give it to the welfare brood, as it does to take a kids A's and give it to the kids who didn't want to achieve, and earn F's.

One thing that I hate a great deal, is the idea put forth by some, that someone can't "make it"  in this country without the help of the Government.  This country is not great because of it's Government.  It is not the greatest country ever because of diversity.  It is the greatest country that has ever existed because of liberty and opportunity.  In is conception, the Government was to stay out of the publics life except in very specific instances.  The Government was to ensure the availability of opportunity, not this idea that everyone should have the same amount of wealth.  It was to provide fairness through the opportunity of success and the possibility of failure.  

The limit being discussed, right now, is $250k.  At that point you are rich and will have what is rightfully yours taken from you and given to someone else.  Someone who more than likely is POOR.  You know the ones.  Those that get food stamps (here in Texas it is called the Lone Star card) but have manicured nails, and satellite TV.  Those that pay no income taxes at all yet get a refundable tax credit (meaning that they paid no income tax at all but are somehow getting a refund of their tax money) but have a cell phone, high speed internet, spinner rims, an LCD flat screen 52" HDTV, and are 5'8" and weigh 350lbs.  

Sure it sounds great to those that don't produce.  "You mean that they are going to give me more money?  Sure I'll vote for you."  What happens when the Government programs somehow cost more that "projected"?  That ALWAYS happens.  Well, the threshold for "rich" suddenly drops to $100k.  Crap, a husband and wife raising a couple of kids who both make $50k are suddenly rich.  With day care, house payment, a couple of car payments, food and electricity, etc., it ($) goes fast.  

El Toro Negro

Your Right or Not

I need to tell you about something I heard on the radio.  I mostly listen to talk radio.  Mostly Boortz and Beck just because they are on when I am driving home from work.  On the way to work, at 3-4 am there isn't much except for the alien station, Coast to Coast.  

I think it was on Boortz that I heard a clip from the Howard Stern show.  They had a guy go on the streets of Harlem to interview obama supporters. Funny thing was that after he determined that they were for obama he would ask them questions like "So you are ok with Sarah Palin being Vise President?" or "Do you like obama because he is pro life or because he thinks we need to stay in Iraq and finish the job?".  You would not believe the responses.  They would say something like "Yah, they need to stay there and get the job done."  I know the cheerleaders are saying right now, "What is wrong with Sarah Palin being Vise President, you don't think a woman can do the job?".  These people had no idea what obama was about.  How incredibly scary.  To not even know who the Vise Presidential candidates are.  I bet these are the same people that leave a chad hanging.  You can see these interviews on youtube.  www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5p3OB6roAg

To be fair I will say that the same thing might happen, I haven't found it yet, with McCain supporters.

The thing I have to comment on is the "Right" to vote.  Ask someone where it states that we have the right to vote for President of the United States and they will most likely say the Constitution.  It is a myth that there is a Constitutional right to vote for President of the United States.  It is true.  It was left up to the states to decide how to choose their electors. (Senators weren't to be elected be the general population either.)  You know, the ones who really vote for President.  If they (the states) want to they can have a lottery or choose the oldest people in their state, or the ugliest people to be their electors.  It just so happens that every state has chosen to use a popular vote.  The result?  That is why we have the ultra uninformed voting for President.  That is why we have great masses voting for Presidents based on their good looks or color of their skin (can go for or against).  

Maybe before we go into the polling booth they should ask us who the Presidential tickets are.  If you can't even name the top two party's candidates then perhaps those people shouldn't vote.  How hard is it to learn a few names.  It's not like being asked to learn where they stand on their political philosophies.  But, if we did that, we might not even have 538 people that could answer correctly.  It would thwart the entire political process that we have come to know as the Presidential Election.

El Toro Negro

A Picture's Worth a Thousand?

I have to start out by apologizing for taking so long to post anything new.  It was Homecoming time here and we do a ton of stuff (hats, shirts, and sashes for the duchesses) for the occasion, not to mention all the other orders that had to be done.

My wife has been planning a trip for a while.  She has made our appointment and has been prepping us for a week, and today is the day she has been waiting for and we have been dreading.  Today, well, today is the day we go to the Sears portrait studio and do the deed.  Take family pictures.

I have to tell you that for years I have not enjoyed taking pictures.  I guess when I was a kid I didn't have a choice.  The funny thing is, now that I am grown and married, I still don't have a choice.  But at least now a days the bribes for cooperation are better.  

I never knew there was so much involved in getting a picture shoot together.  The "outfits" that we will wear (for each pose) have to be chosen.  The cloths have to be ironed and pressed and gone over with a fine tooth comb.  Someone might see the piece of lint on the lower left elbow area of the baby.  What shame.  I never would have known that you had to have an "outfit" to wear on the way tho the studio.  This is just in case one of the kids, or myself, get something on the real "outfit".  And what IS an "outfit".  Is there such a thing as an "infit" or an "out unhealthy"?  I don't get it.

The naps for the little ones, and me, have to be planned.   You know you can't feed the baby between the time you  dress him and the time the pictures are taken.  I don't care how hungry he is.  Haircuts were done a week ago.  Seven days is the exact perfect amount of time to look your best after a haircut.  I won't even start on the intricacies of where to place everyone.  And with nine people to place, it truly does become mind boggling.  What ever happened to tall people in the back and short people in the front?  

You know the strangest thing about this thing is that just last week I bought a new digital camera.  Go figure.  I don't like being in pictures but I do enjoy pictures of my family.  

El Toro Negro

Best Friends Forever (BFF)

I have a boy that is almost one.  I believe he was born in November.  The other day I was feeding him (I did it once and...) and noticed something very enlightening.  A pesky fly had gotten in the house.  While feeding the boy the fly landed on my knee.  Well, he happened to see it.  We were about done eating so it all stopped at that point.  He was mesmerized.  He would slowly reach for the fly and of coarse it would fly a short distance and land.  He followed this thing and tried to catch it a hundred times.  Well, in my mind I saw babysitter.  

What an idea.  If I had only thought of it five kids ago.  If you can get the fly to hang around your kid, he becomes their best friend.  They will play together forever.  It is a great toy for the kid.  Think about it.  I know that flys are dirty, but really, what are the chances that he will catch it?  YOU try and catch one.  With one hand.  Moving as slow as a toddler.  If your kid is moving around, crawling, they can play chase.

Now the trick is to keep the the fly close and interested.  I have experimented with several possibilities.  If it is a short term thing nothing is needed.  Just put him close to the fly and chances are that the fly will land on or close to him rather quickly.  At first I wondered why this was. I thought it was just general curiosity on the part of the fly.  "Hey, let me check this out" kind of deal.  But then I realized that flies aren't that social.  They need incentive.  That's when it hit me.

I would need something that the fly likes to keep him around for longer periods of time.  What do flies like?  First thing that came to mind was dead or rotting meat.  It might be different in your case, but my wife put a stop to using this one.  They will eat a variety of things, depending on species.  Here is what I have found to work.  Any thing that your child has recently eaten.  Instead of using a wipe (and I'm sure killing some tree somewhere) to clean him off, let him be.  He will like it better anyway.  If your kid or flies are into changing things around, try tree sap, nectar or blood (left over from your ground beef pack).  If you have a problem with putting this stuff directly on your little cutie you can apply it to something and keep it close to your kid.  I don't like this method because it defeats the whole babysitting idea.  If you have to constantly keep this thing close, you might as well watch your kid. Try a bracelet.  It goes where they do.  

Now, I know you are asking why the fly would play with my son before the additives.  The short term play.  Well, I decided that it was because kids always have additives.  That is to say unless they have just been given a bath.  But nine times out of ten they will have part of their latest meal on them, somewhere.  It may be invisible to the naked human eye, but the fly can see it.

One word of caution.  You will want to be careful when you do this outside, especially in the country.  If their are lots of flies around they could gang up on him.  Not that they want to do any harm, but too many might confuse your kid.  "Which one do I play with."

El Toro Negro

Here a Butt, There a Butt

I want you to do an experiment that I do every time I walk the streets of any city.  It doesn't seem to matter where.  It is even true in the rural towns.  When you walk from one place to the next, take a look at the ground.  Especially the street corners.  Or while you are picking up cans along the side of the road (what, to sell and give the $ to PETA) just look at the ground.  What you will find is an unbelievable amount of butt.  Cigarette butt.  What the heck is the deal.  

Why do smokers think that their butt is something that they can throw out the window or toss on the ground.  Aren't these people smart enough to know that it IS litter?  Wait, I used smart and smoker in the same sentence.  These butts are made of acetate fibers, not biodegradable.  The planet is said to have 1.2 billion smokers.  A pack a day and you get 24 billion butts.  If only one percent makes it to the ground that is a crap load of butt per day.  They all should go in a landfill.  Or better yet, smokers should be made to smoke the filterless cigarettes.  

Now let me make it clear that I am no greenie weenie.  I can't stand those people that say "We can't drill here because we might hurt a polar bear."  I say drill right through their dead carcass.  Even with that said, I am a planet lover.  I think there are some incredible places that God has blessed us with.  I also think he will hold us responsible for how we treat this gift.  I know he gave us this planet for our benefit, to use, to care for.  I don't believe in trashing the environment just because no one is looking.  I am an Eagle Scout and I do my best to leave no trace.  I clean up my mess, and it sickens me when I see some smoker toss his butt out the window.  They have no shame.  They don't even try to hide it.

Cigarette butts are just the most obvious form of litter that I notice.  There are plenty of other offenders.  Coke cans, beer boxes, Wal-Mart bags galore, bolwn out tires.  I can't say that I have never had something blow out of the back of my truck, but I do try my best to make sure that I don't.  And yes, I do pick up cans along the road (I can't stand PETA).  I have also participated in road cleanup, voluntarily.  

El Toro Negro

Third Thing's The Charm

So I work part time at UPS.  The center where I work is about 35 miles from where I live.  I start work between 4 and 5 in the morning.  With the price of gas what it is, I try and do the grocery shopping and other errands after I get off work.  Sounds reasonable, right?

The problem is that my wife thinks I am capable of remembering great quantities of useless lists.  She will tell me, the night before, about 27 things she needs at the store and 2 other places with accompanying tasks she needs me do.  What in the world is she thinking.  It is 9:45 and I am getting ready for my five hours of sleep and she unloads this mountain on me.  

It came to the point that I had to make a husband rule.  If it is over three things, places to go or things to buy, combined, I have to be given a list.  My mind can't be cluttered with useless things.  I only have so many brain cells.  Oh, the fact that China has more English speakers than the US is not "Useless" information.  You might need to know someday that a group of fox is called a shulk.  Dreamt is the only word in English that ends in mt.  What if someone walks up to you on the street and offers you some wad of cash if you know that tidbit of info.  

So now I call her ever day after working, blank note pad in hand.  I have had to ask her to try and consolidate the days she asks me to go places.  Not that I mind at all.  I LOVE shopping.  Right.  All for the love of a good woman.

El Toro Negro

A Toast To Grandma!

When I was a kid my mom would cook breakfast for us before we went to school.  I didn't learn until I was about 8 or 10 that there are several different types of breakfast toast, and not all are made equal.  

The first type I learned about is the type that is made in a toaster oven.  We always had one growing up.  The little box that sits on the counter and is like a mini oven.  She would butter the bread and put it in and push the button that says toast.  The element comes on and melts the butter and you have toast.  The edges get crispy and the top soggy.  I don't know how many I ate before I learned of the second kind.

While spending the night with a friend I learned of the second type of toast.  This is where you toast the bread first and then butter it.  I remember wondering why we couldn't butter the bread first.  So what if the butter runs down and pools in the bottom of the toaster.  This is the kind of toaster that "pops" up when the bread is done.  This type also makes tons of crumbs.  Loads of crumbs.  If you cook with bread crumbs this is the way for you to make your toast.

I don't know why it took so long for me to learn of the third way to make toast.  Perhaps I knew of it from the time I was born but didn't realize it until I was 8 or 10.  My grandmother made the best toast that I can ever recall eating.  She would butter the bread, put it on a cookie sheet, and put it in the oven.  The secret to this is that she would put the oven on broil.  This would turn on the top element, making a crust like top that is out of this world.  This can also be accomplished in a toaster oven, I learned, if it has a broil function.  

To this day I sometimes get a hankering for toast and use this method to satisfy my craving.  I will be honest and admit that I do have the pop up kind of toaster.  Sometimes I fell guilty using this method.  Like it offends my grandmother.  But, the over method is a bit more lengthy, and with six kids chomping at the bit a breakfast time...  Lets just say that for safety's sake I try and calm the crowd quickly. 

I confess that when I do eat  grandma's toast I go overboard.  I can eat a whole loaf when I get going.  Normally I use honey to top my toast.  But I have an adventurous side (just ask my wife), and have toped my toast with sugar or cinnamon, or on crazy days, both.  

One word of caution.  The difference between great toast and black top is very little.  You MUST watch the toast carefully, making sure to take it out when it reaches that golden brown.  A few seconds more and you may find yourself scraping the black stuff.

Lastly, I purposefully did not include french (little f on purpose) toast for a couple of reasons.  First it is french.  I have a problem with them at this time is history.  If they would just call it something different I might could overlook the fact that the french came up with it.  Second I don't really consider it toast.  It flys in the face of all that I know to be toast.  I'm not even sure if it has butter on it.

Give it a try.  Let me know how you like this toast.  

El Toro Negro

Are we really THAT different?

I can't take credit for all of this post.  I have a buddy that I talk to all the time, everyday.  I bounce a lot of stuff off him and he has some interesting feedback.  I'm trying to get him to be a guest author, but I'm not sure if or when he will show up.

So let me begin by asking if we have any cheerleaders or moms of cheerleaders reading this?  If you are, please raise your hand.  Good.  If you have your hand up you might want to back away from this blog.  Just stop right here.  This can only piss you off.  I don't want any OMG's or WTF's (or a series of "like" this or "like" that-got to be the most over used and abused word) hurled at me.  So just stop now.  And you can put your hand down now.

Do you remember reading about or seeing a history channel show about the cultures that would sacrifice their Virgins to the gods?  When we went to Chichen Itza (the big pyramid on the Yucatan peninsula) , it reminded me of the people that would take the most beautiful girls to the top and sacrifice them to their god.  If I remember right, the families of these girls thought it an honor and privilege to be chosen to give their daughter for this purpose.  From the time these girls were very young they would be prepared, in hopes of being chosen.  

We as a people of "modern" society look back at these primitives and say to ourselves, "How could a culture do such a thing?".  I wonder what the people of a thousand years from now will say when the look at us and our rituals.  I highlight one that has been brought to my attention by my buddy.  

There are fragments of our society, that starting at a very young age, take their daughters and begin teaching and training them.  They spend a great deal of money, give them special cloths to wear, and teach them how to think.  They teach them that they are a chosen group, and often, that they are better than the rest of their peers because they are pretty and popular.   They teach them chants that they can use to entertain and impress.  And after they learn these things, they are taken in front of a great crowd of the general population (usually made up of mostly fanatical men), dressed in very little, and paraded in front of the old and young men of the area.  These men yell and holler, encouraging them to dance and yell.  I am speaking of the cheerleader.  

Will the people of future millenniums, looking back, ask themselves "How could they do that to their little girls?"?  Will they marvel that we counted ourselves lucky if our daughters were a part of this chosen group?  Will the stereotypes of today, that cheerleaders are saddled with, be counted as fact?

It seems to be the be all and end all of their lives, to be a cheerleader. I went to a Jr. High last night and noticed several things.  They seem to be perfectly on a cheer schedule.  They must have a timer, and when that timer goes off they have to do a cheer.  It doesn't matter if there is a timeout going on or not.  It doesn't matter if we are winning or loosing.  It doesn't matter if we are or offense or defense.  Yesterday, we were being beaten 20 something to zip and or cheerleaders do the cheer of were #1.  The best is when we have about 30 seconds left and are down by 20+ and they break out the "We can still win!" cheer.  One of my personal favorites is the "Hey Gang, Say Gang" cheer.  I can't stand it.  You know the one I'm talking about.  Hey gang, say gang, listen here. This is Brittany. Lets give her a cheer.  She's a whatever grader.  They all hold hands, swinging their arms.  I have yet to see anyone in the crowd pay attention.  It is a classic third quarter cheer.

I also noticed yesterday that after every cheer, without exception, they would congregate in front of the stands to gulp bottled water.  I admit, it was about 90 degrees.  And they had jumped once or twice, and, oh, clapped their hands.  The knee braces are even better.  Not one of them can do the splits or a back flip, but they somehow have managed to injure themselves.  

El Toro Negro