Little Darling

I know that you have heard the slogan of No Child Left Behind.  Not a program that I am in favor of, at least not 100%.  I have seen and know kids, usually in their teen years, that need to be left behind or at least removed from the "main stream" of the teaching that goes on in our schools.  Their are kids that are so disruptive as to necessitate being removed.  There are also children that do not need to be forced to go through all the classes that are required by the State.  For example.  I know of kids that do not need four years of math, only to struggle the entire time, because their passion lies in hair dressing or delivering packages.  

Closely related to this No Child Left Behind is the idea (I think it started with soccer) that all participants are "winners".  I know that this has been going on since I was a kid because I always got the "participation" ribbon.  My kids always get a trophy at the end of their season, even if their team was in dead last place.  Dang, a kid can have a trophy room that is huge by the time he gets to high school and never have won anything.  What are we doing?  

I hear tell that this line of thinking comes from a philosophy that we in no way can harm the so called self esteem of or kids.  So we coddle them, baby them, let them rule our homes and tell us what they are or are not going to do, let them set their own boundaries.  They talk back and make demands.  We, of course, can not, will not, do anything that will harm their self esteem.  

So what does this mean?  We get kids that are advanced through school and graduate that can't even read and write, much less do the simplest of math tasks.  I bought some blinds for our new house about a year ago.  I went to Home Depot to get them.  They needed to be cut to length.  The little girl that was helping me couldn't even put them on a simple jig and subtract the undesired amount and measure it out.  I had to wait until the next day when the manager would be there.  She had worked there for over a year.  

What this means is that we are churning out high school graduates that can't read or do math, but sure do think a lot of themselves, because mommy and daddy and their teachers have always told them that average or below average, or that to loose, was ok, you are still a "winner".  

Kids need to know that they have a place in the home and that place does not supersede the parents.  They are not the boss.  We should not do "anything" for our kids.  I get sick of parents that storm up to the school to berate a teacher or principal because their little Johnny shouldn't be punished or get that zero.  After all, it wasn't his fault.  Plus, it might make him feel bad.  They need to know that there are levels of acceptable accomplishment and that marks under that level are not tolerated, even if you gave it a "good try".  They need to know also that there are boundaries of behavior not to be crossed.  They should be taught the rules and be held accountable.  

Now I don't want to sound totalitarian, but that is about what it comes down to.  I also think that our kids should also be loved unconditionally.  They will defy us at times, and that can not be tolerated.  But they must always be loved, and told so.  All I have to do is ask my kids "You know what?"  and they will say... "awe dad, I know, you love me".  They hear it often.  They see it often.  

I had better stop.  I could ramble on forever.

El Toro Negro