So I was in Wal-Marts (for all the Hallies), doing my time in the checkout line, when I realized that the lady in front of me was buying nothing but cat food. Not the bag of dry cat food for $5.99, but the "Fancy Feast" crap that was $1.39 for a can about the size of a tuna can. She didn't just have a few. She had many, many dozens. Enough that I couldn't quickly count them. Of course she had a variety of other cat treats. I quit looking at the prices that were ringing up because I was a bit sick at the thought of spending that kind of money on a cat. But who am I kidding. You know she had at least several (or more) cats living/ruling her smelly, hair ridden house.
So I leave the store and have to run an errand for my wife. (I am beginning to regret showing her craigslist. She has bought twice as much stuff on there as I have sold, and I get to be the one that has to go and pick her stuff up.) Some lamp that matches the decor and fung shwe of our living room. I arrive at the door of this lady's house that has the lamp and what do I see through the side room window. A cat dormitory, complete with enough carpet covered tubes and posts to keep at least a dozen cats busy. And of course I would happen to ring the door bell (no sing) and piss her off. You scared my cats. The door bell scares my cats. We don't scare the cats. Well crap, lady, put a note that says don't ring the stinkin' bell. Thankfully only the feet of the lamp have to have cat hair removed from them.
I am not one to tell a cat loving freak how to spend her money, or how many dozen cats she should have. If you earned it, spend it how you want to. But it just seems strange to me to live that way. I can just imagine how many cat boxes she has to clean and how many loads of cat feces she has to haul out, not to mention how many bottles of febreze she must go through to keep the smell down (if she even tries). I wonder also what her lint roller bill each month is (if she even cares to remove the hair from her cloths).
And what about when she entertains? I always hate when you go to someone's house for a social party, or to dinner at a friends house, and you sit on the couch after the meal only to get up and leave later with more back hair than sasquatch. Might as well toss your cloths when you get home. I sure don't have the extra hours of time required to pull off all the hair. All the washing machine will do is get it on every other thing in the load.
And why are all the crazy cat lovers women, usually single women, unless their husbands are PW? I have yet to have or know of a single guy that lives with and cares for 15 cats. Do they exist? I don't think so. It must be because a cat's personality and a woman's are closely related. They are both utterly unpredictable. You can be scratching her behind the neck, her purring like crazy, one second, and the next she is trying to scratch and bite your hand off. I've seen cats that do that too. And just try and explain something them. They just look at you like "yah right, I'm going to do that. I'll do what I please". I just don't get it.
El Toro Negro
No comments:
Post a Comment