Friday, January 23, 2009

Shower Thoughts

I'm not that old.  In fact, I'm young.  37  One of the things I have attempted to do, rather I gave in, when we moved into our new house is to accept some of the things that are the current "trend".  Some of these things involve the shower.  

Soap.  I never realized that there were so many kinds or that I couldn't survive without using them correctly.  I always used a bar of soap, Irish Spring, Dial, Lava, never Dove (it is like using Crisco), to do all the washing of my body.  Hair, face, body.  Hey, clean is clean.  In and out in just a few minutes.  Great.

My wife has been trying to coerce me into following the current trends, but dang, there are too many types of what I call soap.  Now it is called body wash.  You have to have a shampoo for your hair and you have to know what type of hair you have.  Is it dry or oily, brittle or dandruffy?  You have to get it right or your hair will fall out.  But, after you wash it, you aren't done.  You have to have something called conditioner.  I didn't know EVERYONE'S hair was out of condition.  Does the shampoo put it into an unsafe condition?  

Then there has to be a certain soap for your face.  Again you have to know your skin type.  Specifically, your face skin type, not to be confused with the skin type of the rest of your body.  And, it doesn't necessarily correspond to the type of your hair.  I am informed that your face could peel off and blow away if you use the wrong soap.

Generally, as far as I can tell, the rest of your body can be placed in the same soap category, and I think there is a bit of personal preference that is allowed here.  Do you like bar or liquid soap?  Do you want something that smells good or causes every woman within one mile to suddenly want you?  

Now this information is if you take a shower and changes slightly if you take baths, which I don't care for all that much.  If you take a bath you have to factor in bath oils and/or bath salts.  I took baths as a youngster only because we didn't have a shower.  Baths don't make sense to me.  They take longer and use more water.  I just don't want to wash the dirt off and sit in the filth.  What happens when you stand up to get out of the bath?  Does the dirt in the water magically sheen off of you?  I don't think so.  You just have some recycled body grunge.  Get a head start, right?  Now I understand that if you are sore or want to relax that a bath offers what a shower can't give you.  So in that I can do the bath thing.

It was hard to get used to the idea that I had to use a loofa or scrunchie to scrub with.  You know what I am talking about.  The little plastic puff thing that you put your soap on and then use it to apply the soap.  I also am lost when it comes to the wash rag.  My wife has to use about eight of them for one cleaning.  Won't one do the job?  I don't know.

There are people that feel that there is a conspiracy in the BIG soap business.  With the media's help, they have convinced us that all these things are necessary.  You are weird if you don't use shampoo, or "body wash".  Instead of having one that will do all the cleaning, it now takes no less that 37 to get the job done.  More stuff to buy.  

I'm sure there are some of you that are saying right now, "You forgot about such and such.  You can't shower with out such and such."  I am only a novice at these new fangled soaps and bathing techniques, but with time, coaching, and a lot of study I think I can learn.  I only wish they built a shower caddy that was big enough to house all the crap you have to have just to get clean.

PS.
I let my wife proof read this and she informed me that you never use soap on your face.  It should be a type of cleanser.  So there you go folks.

El Toro Negro




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